I’ve lately come to a conclusion that writing can only be “so” good for certain things. Communicating with someone who has little time for you is not one of these things that it is good for. Recently, I came to this conclusion after realizing that an ex of mine whom I write to once in a while does not take too well to me writing to her.

Ironically I ended up writing to her asking whether she would mind speaking to me on the telephone; she agreed and eventually we did. I have been some time wanting to speak to her about things that have been on my mind and the like.

What one doesn’t realize after picking up the phone, is that having let 3 years pass without a single word spoken, there is no possible way you can ever get out what you want to say, how you want it to be said; furthermore, there is no way that should you say what you want to say, that it would be accepted/appreciated or taken without any hostility. So, speaking to her about what I wanted to was about as sterile as my emails, I settled for a vague and uninteresting (for her) conversation about the present keeping the temperament light and serene.

The element I am missing is that of common ground; in the three years that have passed we’ve done and experienced so many different things that relating isn’t something that can just happen, worst part of all, is that you’re still stuck with the illusion of that person when you last spoke to them. You know that person to a certain point and then it has a huge void. I realize now that there is no way I could ever really start talking to her as a friend sharing those things I wanted to say unless she wanted to be friendly with me. It is so obvious now stating this, but you somewhat loose track of the two-sided nature of relating to someone when you fail to notice that the other person has to take an interest before they listen. I thought before this, that the person would be interested if they heard what you wanted to say and not the other way round.

I’m so naïve!

posted by a-v0id at 9:40 pm & filed under Uncategorizable! | 1 Comment »