Ever wonder what or how the people you’ve lost contact with or those you no longer speak to, remember you? I doubt there is a single person who goes: “that Neil guy, he was something really special… “, because lets face it, if we’re no longer speaking or no longer in touch they more than likely were not that impressed to hang around.

Funny to think that you set out to be remembered well and that is the last thing you get. Might aswell be the bastard people remember me as and then I wont have to feel so down when I stop to think of those who no longer care to think of me.

The whole thing comes down under vanity which really doesn’t fit in with today’s culture of “what do you care?” crap… my responce “a lot, actually!” seems to not fit in in the culture’s colloquialized set of fixed responces.

<cynicism>

When giving responces that aren’t made of colloqualism, I generally get a facial responce that has the NeilOS equivalent of:

 NeilOS Prompt - Error Debugger
   - Error 1: Can't compute: SpazAttack caused by syntax error line 23...
   -          Near clause: where (response != generic) { go->ape(); }
   -                                                          ^
   - Error 2: Function "ape" not found. 
   - Beep!
  

</cynicism>

The point being is, I do care what people think. My life and my enjoyment in life is balanced by what people think and feel with respect to me. If I was utterly hated throughout my life then I will have a damn miserable one, however if I am loved and praised for being a nice person then I shall live happily. Whilst abandoning my ego, there is an exception (as always), it would be ridiculous to be so cold as to not care what people think of me, there would be little point in thinking if there was no emotion or feeling.

posted by a-v0id at 12:44 pm & filed under Uncategorizable! | No Comments »