Having concluded that I detest eating turkey for Christmas lunch I employed my fascist ways to achieve my utopian feast. I was delivered a suckling piglet. Before the astute and the awkward try and make a fool of me: my blood group diet says: no to pork. However, my tongue said yes, and let me remind you that this year we’re listening to my tongue.

Well it was truly delectable, the pictures of the meal probably would have upset most of you. Mostly because it was so mouth-wateringly-delicious that you’d be angry with me for not emailing you a chunk. Anyhow, if you’re willing to come over with a bit of hunger you’re more than welcome to a chunk of oinker; we have so much that I’ll probably still be eating it for my birthday in July.

I have been quite happy with this years Christmas. How has it been for everyone else?

Yet another Bruce Campbell film; you wont find it in your typical video store.. it wont go on the tele… and sadly it wont be in the cinema. 🙁

However, I watched it; found it really funny and thoroughly enjoyed it! It wont appeal to your intellectual demands and wont make you laugh in fits of hysteria, however you’ll look back and go: “I didn’t laugh as much as I should have!”, and that is because you didn’t realize how funny you were going to find it after you had watched it.

Just imagine a brain transplant patient with a shaved head (that being Bruce Campbell) chasing some miniscule eastern european car on a small pink moped, whilst having a fight with himself about which side of the brain is going to do the driving.

The film is rich with stupid dialogue, Bulgarian/Russian people speaking english who sound like they’re speaking backward and obviously very rich with Bruce Campbell.

If you could watch it… watch it!

If you ever saw Evil Dead or Evil Dead II and didn’t realize there was a 3rd film. (Obviously, on the condition that you must of thought they were hilarious.) You must see this! I laughed so hard on my own that words escape me.

I am truly determined to one day, try and make a film like this… obviously not the same, but on the lines of capturing the style of humour.

Tickled-pink-o-meter:
:pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink: :pink:

The post title refers to the new design layout of this website and by that: what the imagery running along the top represents. Incase you were thinking it was a festive gesture with iccles hanging from the top of the page: get your eyes examined.
The meaning of the illustration in a vague sense can say many things, much as can the title or the url of this website. Those of you who know me well enough, shouldn’t need to hear this explaination; however those who wish to know me a little closer, you may care to know that I am not much of a humanitarian. It could be said: I hate humanity; and by saying that you would not be far wrong; oh, and before you commence your witty responses, save it.
So the meaning of the illustration: it is a city skyline in an apocalyptic state… the “a-v0id thoughts” refers to the background in the respect of: “try and not think about it too much…it’ll come… it’ll come”.

I’m sure now you know what it means, you wont like it so much; but whilst it is aesthetic you need not think of what it means and live a blissfull life in ignorance. 🙂

Maybe, it just is a city skyline through the lens of an anime radation filter device.

My illustration sucks… but I like it.

I have changed the site layout a little. I hope it is to your pleasing. Please inform me of any bugs of lack of usability.

I had my first bike accident yesterday on my way home. I was no further than a mile from my home and just approaching a set of traffic lights behind some slow moving traffic. My memory is a little vague on all the details. What I do remember is the car in front slamming on the brakes and ending up laying down under the car. Obviously, I had skidded trying to do an emergency stop and came off the bike.

I concluded it was my own fault for not giving enough space between the car in front and myself… which is another valuable lesson learnt.

The handle bar and an indicator were scrapped the rest can be fixed or bent, banged or shaped into the place they should be.

I’m quite angry with myself about it, even if it was the driver infront’s fault and they didn’t even have the decency to pull over to see if I was alright; in doing so they missed out on claiming damages to their car, which is good for me, my insurance will be perfectly in tact. 🙂

I had to fill my tank for the first time today. I was there feeling all nervous and innocent as I pulled into the petrol station. I got to a pump and tried to get the fuel to come out of the hose feeling like a fool while it did nothing… repeated the process and then wheeled my bike to another pump to get the same result. Feeling absolutely stupid I decided to go and ask someone who worked there.

It is amazing how long time takes to pass when you’re told you’re meant to squeeze the pump continuously until the fuel comes out… felt like I’d been squeezing the trigger for an hour; the upshot of it was; I filled the tank and reading the litre-age dial and mistaking it for the price I was expecting to pay more, even then it was cheap.

To conclude; I ended up paying for a hundred odd miles use of my bike in fuel for the cost of what it would have been per day on my travelcard.

Total: £4.24

I passed my test today. I took the test in driving rain (no pun intended), it was tricky listening to this gentle speaking welsh examiner and I repeatedly took the wrong turning on account of his manner of speaking to me, but since the test isn’t based on taking instructions but on how you drive I successfully passed the test.

I was earlier on sweeping up the hallway and burst into laughter, thinking about what my instructor was telling me minutes before the test which at the time upset me and made me more nervous than I was already. The story went something on the lines of:

“Last time I was at this test center, the test lasted 9 minutes. The examiner pulled back in after 9 minutes telling me he didn’t dare ride anywhere near the candidate (on the road), followed by where to find the candidate.”

At the time I was terrified by the idea that the examiner could actually end the test that abruptly. Having been tested and passed first time, looking back at how bad that candidate must of been is hilarious.

YAY!!

P.S. Can you believe it is December already?

I just got back from my first experimental partyish thing. The premise was to not make alcohol the not purpose or motivation for the gathering or the distraction. The reason was Lost, I invited Rob, Aisha and Natti to come along and watch the remainding episodes of season 1 whilst I provided food and drinks (non-alcoholic).

I think; maybe I’m wrong, but think it went pretty well. Obviously Aisha and Rob may disagree in retrospect maybe a little dull… maybe I’m thinking about it too much. Meh!

I loved it.

Thanks guys.

(Oh and… I have insurance!)

Another case of good news/ bad news is what today’s article is about. The good news: I purchased my first motorcycle today, A 3 year old Honda CG125 in blue. It is not the bike of my dreams, I have not yet ridden it, I’ve not even sat on it, however I am the owner; an owner that… (bad news)… cannot afford to pay for the insurance. In fact my cashflow is so tight at the moment I’m having to leave the bike where I bought it until I pass my test just so that I can afford to pay for the insurance.

How much does that suck?

Just to remind you, I did just buy a bike today!!!… I’m over the moon with happiness.